Confidence Re-Evaluated

"What exactly is it that is attractive about a person? (....) every person I find beautiful in one fashion or another does share one quality: the acceptance of their imperfection, humanity and fallibility. Their willingness to let others see their humanity, instead of some mask, is what I find so attractive."

How often do we doubt in ourselves and in our abilities? What is it that makes a person confident, trustworthy, reliable, popular? Amount of "friends" on facebook or any other social websites? Do you feel you need to belong to a group to achieve something? Do you need to be constantly reinforced by others telling you how great you are or should you not care and just live according to what you think is right and feels right for you?

I am not sure, I do not know if I will ever be. I was always alone in my judgment of life, decisions, situations and did not try hard to belong to one group or another. I think the key is in the searching and finding the perfect balance with the right people along the way. I often wonder, as I walk downtown on my way to work, pushing along through the crowds, skyscrapers above my head, what forces brought me here from across the world and why am I working in the heart of financial district learning corporate ways, if I was a writer, a poet, a linguist and an educator? Which forces took me even farther to stand alone in this city and become independent only to travel even further and discover even more than I could have dreamt of 20 years ago or so? I still remember those summer days spent writing in the attic of my grandparents house, imagining what I will do, places I will go and promising myself I will make my life an adventure, that I will not regret nor look back on any decisions I have made. Yet, the voice of what will others say would always ring in my head, dragging along next to me everywhere I went.

I am and I have been enjoying every step of the way, meeting amazing people and learning new things and realizing along the way how much more there is to learn. I would like to study more about business, and forget my scary high school professor whom I hated dearly for  making me look dumb in front of the whole class not knowing the correct mathematical solution just to prove him wrong. Will I, should I?


We can be the smartest person in the room but we do not know what the other people can do nor we possess the same skills. Especially in brand new situations we will feel as if I we were a newcomer who is ignored. If you do not speak up you will not be asked. In the end the quiet knowledge can be underestimated and the ones with the knowledge choose not to share.  

Little problems, big dramas will be forgotten tomorrow. Easy judgment will make you one-dimensional and will not let you see the whole picture nor be a good leader. Try to reach out and see the good instead of seeing the invisible and non-existent just for the second of popularity. Do not assume anything and do not let anyone intimidate you. Believe in your decision and be strong with it without intimidating others along the way. It will come back to you in a more rewarding way you could have ever imagined. It is a skill, it is a rare skill and no matter how smart one is, this skill along with the intelligence is the hardest balance. Humble without shy, confident without cockiness, smart without the feeling of being better than others, seeing the possibility in the impossible and learning from everything around you. Everyone has a story, everyone deserves our smile, a friendly good morning and simply human empathy.

Do not be afraid of who you are and showing your real self.

Good Luck!

and that songs is for all the "re-searchers" out there

I Am Searching